Kiss, kiss the Ritz way
Weekend post: Learning the minutiae of proper etiquette
By Judith Ritter, Weekend Post
Saturday, October 29, 2005
It's settled.
"If you're at a social event with Bill Gates and G.E.'s Jack
Welsh, introduce Bill Gates to Jack Welsh not Jack Welsh to Bill
Gates. That's the definitive answer!" explains Jacqueline Whitmore.
She's not only the authority on such matters, but also our teacher
at The Ritz-Carlton Palm Beach's business etiquette course.
She explains that in a social situation, Bill gets introduced to
Jack -- as in "Jack, I would like to introduce to you Bill Gates" --
because Jack is older and is therefore, the person of honor and has
his name said first. In a business situation, the rule is power, so
Jack would be introduced to Bill, because Bill is richer.
Whitmore, a perky young woman in a classic suit and pumps, is
here in one of the stately dining rooms of the Ritz-Carlton with
four of us, her new students, set to tackle the complexities of
business protocol. Under the crystal chandeliers, in a world of
Italian marble and Persian carpets, we're play acting a social
situation in which we introduce ourselves, we introduce each other
and we introduce the imaginary richest men in the world to one
another (in the off chance we run into them).
Why brush up our social graces? Because there is a revival of
etiquette, a craving for old-fashioned good manners in the corporate
world, and business people, according to the latest studies, are
woefully lacking in decorum.
We're gathered here at the Palm Beach Ritz (where else?) for a
three-hour session (including a five-course practice dinner),
combining a holiday in Palm Beach with professional development. We
are otherwise bold and successful people, but, as we find out, deep
within we are secretly afraid, very afraid.
Whitmore knows that, so she begins our session with a kind of
confessional. "My worst fear is making a mistake at the dinner
table," admits Debra, a nurse, who will be traveling for her
business internationally. Landon, a young, impeccably dressed real
estate agent, is consumed with a desire to "get to a higher level"
of etiquette, and perfect the continental-style use of utensils as
opposed to his knife-and-fork-switching American style. Our other
partner in protocol, Magda, wants to learn the art of working a
room. Collectively, we have a fear of forks (which one?), fear of
handshakes (too limp?), fear of networking and, generally, fear of
floundering and blowing that big deal. The Ritz-Carlton course will
teach us classic niceties, such as silverware savvy, making an
entrance, introducing ourselves, working a room and, at the cutting
edge of etiquette, the gracious use of electronic technology. In
short, we'll learn manners for everything from removing a bit of
food from your tooth to courteous use of wireless technology.
In our Ritz course there's handshaking practice, small talk
exercises and even a lesson geared for globalization, the European
air kiss. "Notice. I did the smacking sound. Our cheeks might have
touched, but my lips never touched her cheek," Whitmore says as we
practice smiling, smacking and not touching, all under the watchful
eye of several Ritz employees, who, like Ritz employees around the
world, have been trained in the minutiae of etiquette.
The Ritz-Carlton offers etiquette classes because, well, because
they are The Ritz, according to Roberto van Geenen, the general
manager of the Palm Beach hotel. "We do see ourselves as the keepers
of good manners, discreet advisers on etiquette. People turn to the
Ritz-Carlton and we feel an obligation to be knowledgeable about the
traditions." Van Geenen is European, perfectly tailored, charming,
gracious and, in his desire to preserve civility and stem the tide
of boorishness, much like Ritz founder Caesar Ritz a century ago.
From Palm Beach to Hong Kong, The Ritz-Carlton company is not only
the guardian of social and business etiquette, but also the
professor emeritus. The hotel sponsors seminars, and functions as a
kind of manners hotline for distraught CEOs, confused guests and, to
use van Geenen's words, a protocol resource for "people on the
wealth management side."
Van Geenen and Whitmore have numerous examples of manners
queries, jobs lost to poor protocol and deals sealed with excellent
etiquette, like an SOS from a CEO for a quick course for his
right-hand man who blew a board meeting by dipping his bread in the
soup.
The cautionary tale of soup slurping fresh in our minds, we're
seated for a five-course Ritz-Carlton meal with at least seven
pieces of cutlery on the table and reproduced on large flip charts.
The which and when of spoons, bowls and butter knives is as
important as an MBA nowadays and courses like this one are doing a
booming business. Throughout the meal, Whitmore peppers us with
etiquette edicts as she discreetly corrects one or another of our
faux pas. We eat up the information along with a spectacular dinner
-- wild mushroom consommé with Madeira, truffled lobster ravioli and
warm asparagus salad are some of the highlights.
Fork and knife placed close together in the centre of our plates
to indicate we're finished, we exit our chairs on the right side,
ask our final questions and shake hands firmly, remembering to hold
the other's hand for just one extra second to "convey sincerity."
For $320 and three hours of our holiday time, we have become part of
a breed of business people confident and calm, ready and able to do
a deal with anyone, even "people on the wealth management side."
Governments are in crisis, dams burst, wars wax and wane and,
somewhere far away, the Earth is shaking. Civilization may be under
siege but in this quiet, elegant room, except for the almost
soundless tinkle of ice in a glass, our rough edges are smoothed and
all is well with the world.
ART TOUR AND HIGH TEA
While polishing up your social graces at The Ritz-Carlton, why
not top off the etiquette course with a 40-minute guided tour of The
Ritz-Carlton art collection followed by proper afternoon tea. Every
Friday (and by appointment), the hotel offers a tour of its
multi-million-dollar collection of paintings with Ritz art
consultant, the colorful Jane Oliver.
Oliver, who has been involved in the art world for decades,
guides guests through the lobbies, hallways, ballrooms and
restaurants of the hotel, past Louis XIV furniture, sculpture and
museum-quality paintings.
The collection consists of pieces mainly from The Romantic
period, including the hotel's most valuable piece, a 19th-century
landscape by German painter Karl Heffner and a compelling painting
by renowned portraitist Thomas Gainsborough. Oliver offers
interpretation of, and anecdotes about, the art and artifacts, but
always punctuated by humor.
The see-and-be-seen afternoon tea that follows the tour is
steeped in style and a good opportunity to people watch. Many of
Palm Beach's society matrons top off Worth Avenue shopping trips
with tea at the hotel. We just missed the Duke and Duchess of
Devonshire when we took the tour and tea, but did get to enjoy the
scones and clotted cream that bear the Devonshire royals' name.
- The Ritz-Carlton:
www.ritzcarlton.com
- Jacqueline Whitmore:
www.etiquetteexpert.com
Ran with fact box "Art Tour and High Tea" which has been appended
to the story.
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