From Minneapolis-St. Paul Star Tribune
You gave her what?! 
By Delma J. Francis, December 8, 2004

It's not the gift but the thought that counts, right? Well, yes -- and no.
Some gifts are so tasteless or inappropriate that it would have been better if the giver had just wished the recipient "happy holidays."

That is especially problematic within the realm of business giving, says Jacqueline Whitmore, a nationally recognized expert on etiquette and protocol and founder of the Protocol School of Palm Beach in Florida. Aside from being appropriate, a gift should be "something the person will use and appreciate -- something practical," Whitmore said.

One of the trickiest areas of business giving is employee-to-boss. "You're really treading on thin ice when giving a superior a gift," Whitmore said. "It can be seen as brown-nosing and self-serving."

An easy alternative is for employees to give the gift as a group, she said. Still, keep it within limits. Ties or perfume are too personal and "just not appropriate in business," she said. Homemade gifts, however, are ideal. If there are no craftsfolk or bakers among you, a popular alternative is a gift card or certificate.

Similar protocol should be observed when a client is giving a service provider a gift, or vice versa, Whitmore said. Stay away from anything suggestive or wildly expensive. For a client or service provider who loves that morning cup of java, Whitmore suggests a cute mug containing a gift card or certificate to a favorite coffee shop. Or, if the person supports a certain charity, give to that cause in his or her name. Above all, remember that the gift must be tasteful and appropriate.

Told about a woman who was incensed when one of her husband's clients gave him a bottle of Sour Apple Pucker, in the trademark bottle with puckered lips logo, Whitmore said she could understand the woman's ire. The gift was inappropriate.

Likewise, gifts to friends should reflect good taste and a feel for the recipient's interests, Whitmore said. She advises people to avoid giving articles of clothing to the opposite sex unless it's an intimate relationship. Books on favorite subjects or hobbies are winners, as are CDs by favorite artists. And you can't fail with a gift certificate to a favorite restaurant.

"Remember, you don't have to outdo anyone," Whitmore said. "Giving comes from the heart."

 - Delma J. Francis is at dfrancis@startribune.com.

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