From The Palm Beach Post
Cellphone etiq- oops, I have a call

By Frank Cerabino, Palm Beach Post Columnist
Wednesday, June 4, 2003

I reached Jacqueline Whitmore on her cellphone Tuesday. 
"Where are you?" I asked.
"In the post office in Palm Beach," she said. "But I'm not in line. This is a good time to talk." We had to work all this out because Whitmore, who runs the Protocol School of Palm Beach, is also the wireless etiquette spokesperson for Sprint, and the founder of National Cellphone Courtesy Month. It goes without saying, she doesn't answer her phone with a "S'up, dawg?"

National Cellphone Courtesy Month begins in July -- about 37,440 anytime-minutes from now.
So this is a busy time of year for Whitmore, who is making her list of cellphone tips, and getting ready for her brief opportunity on the national soapbox. "I'm just finding so many egregious acts with cellphones," Whitmore said. "Cellphones were made to make our lives easier, not more annoying." Whitmore sent me her eight tips. But I have to say, they don't go far enough. So I'll list each Whitmore tip, with my own embellishment: 

• Whitmore Tip No. 1:
  Let voice-mail take calls during meetings or in restaurants. If you must speak to the caller, excuse yourself and find a secluded area.
  Cerabino embellishment:
  While excusing yourself, say something dramatic into the phone, such as: "What do you mean the lab tests are inconclusive?"

• Whitmore Tip No. 2:
  Speak in your regular conversational tone and don't display anger during a public call. Speaking loudly or showing emotion may distract those around you.
  Cerabino embellishment:
  However, you can redeem your angry cellphone outburst if you end the call by smashing the phone to pieces or throwing it into a deep body of water. This will always please the people around you.

• Whitmore Tip No. 3:
  Use your vibrate function or turn off your phone in public places such as movie theaters, religious services, etc.
  Cerabino embellishment:
  If you plan to receive calls during a religious service, have the ringer set to the "tongues" setting. 

• Whitmore Tip No. 4:
  If you are expecting a call that can't be postponed, alert your companions ahead of time and excuse yourself when the call comes in. 
  Cerabino embellishment:
  And if your phone rings by playing Clair de Lune, Light My Fire or any other song, apologize in advance for that, too.

• Whitmore Tip No. 5:
  Avoid interrupting meetings or social gatherings by answering your wireless phone. 
  Cerabino embellishment:
  Pretend it's somebody else's phone that's ringing. 

• Whitmore Tip No. 6:
  Use discretion while discussing private matters in front of others. 
  Cerabino embellishment:
  Be considerate. Just say, "I can't talk about the anthrax now. I'm on PalmTran."

• Whitmore Tip No. 7:
  When walking and talking, be aware of your surroundings. 
  Cerabino embellishment:
  If you walk into the path of a car, it's always a good idea to have a personal injury lawyer already set up on your speed dial.

• Whitmore Tip No. 8:
  Place calls in your car when it is not moving. 
  Cerabino embellishment:
  And when the car is moving, make sure the phone and the coffee are in opposite hands.

Back to the News and Articles Page!