From Sun Sentinal
Mind your manners: Proper etiquette can make a deal, get you a job
By Robyn
A. Friedman, Special Correspondent
Bill Mahoney recalls the exact moment he decided to hire an
etiquette expert for his staff. He was hosting a business dinner for
a client, the CEO of a billion-dollar company, and noticed an
employee eating in a less-than-professional manner.
"She was chewing with her mouth open, not using the appropriate
utensils and literally attacking her food," said Mahoney, who runs
Mahoney & Associates, an employee benefits management and consulting
firm in Fort Lauderdale. "I noticed my client watching her. I was
mortified."
So Mahoney called in Jacqueline Whitmore, founder of The Protocol
School of Palm Beach. After three seminars for his key employees --
at a cost of $2,500 per session -- Mahoney saw a noticeable
improvement. "It was absolutely worth the investment," he said.
Etiquette classes appear to be experiencing a renaissance. Children
attend tea parties, eating peanut butter and jelly sandwiches from
silver platters while polishing their manners. Colleges offer
classes on networking, dining and business attire. And more and more
businesses bring in experts such as Whitmore to teach their staff
the finer points of etiquette.
"Business etiquette is hotter than ever," Whitmore said. "In the
last three years, my business has increased 50 percent."
Other etiquette experts report a similar increase in demand, citing
the need for cultural sensitivity in a global economy and the lack
of social graces in young workers who grew up on television and
video games.
Good etiquette skills are particularly important for business
executives and job hunters. "Judgments about your professionalism,
your character and your competence are often based on initial
impressions," said Marjorie Brody, a Jenkintown, Pa.-based business
communications consultant and author of Professional Impressions:
Etiquette for Everyone, Every Day.
Elena Brouwer has seen the effect of poor etiquette skills. Brouwer,
the founder of the International Etiquette Centre in Hollywood, has
a client who blundered at a meal with a potential source of
financing.
"She didn't know how to order in a restaurant and thought a la carte
meant that everything was included," said Brouwer. The woman ordered
expensive items, including a fancy dessert she couldn't eat. Her
ignorance cost her the funding.
Maggie Jourgensen and several other professional women recently
hired Brouwer to conduct a private seminar on dining etiquette. For
$300, Brouwer provided the food and taught the five women how to set
a table, which utensils to use and how to eat foods such as soup and
rice.
"I think etiquette is very important," said Jourgensen, a Boca Raton
artist who attends a lot of social events in the "art world."
Florida International University even sponsors a six-course
"business etiquette dinner" every semester. Students are coached
through an actual dinner, where they learn about what to wear, what
to order and table manners.
What do you need to know? Here are some tips on etiquette for three
common situations.
Table manners
-
More and more business deals are being consummated over lunch. A
business meal can also make or break a job interview. What should
you do to shine?
-
Rule one: The person who asks somebody to a meal pays for it.
Period.
-
That often causes problems for women who ask out male associates. To
avoid a tug-of-war over the check, Whitmore advises you to arrive at
the restaurant early and provide your credit card to the maitre d',
then excuse yourself during the meal to sign the check. An
alternative: Establish a house account with the restaurant, so the
bill is never brought to the table.
-
Always take a client to a familiar restaurant -- that way, you'll
know the menu and surroundings, so you can focus on business. And
let the guest have the best seat.
-
If you are the guest, follow the host's lead on ordering. Don't be
afraid to ask what the host recommends. That gives you a guideline
as to the host's budget.
-
Don't talk about business right away. Build rapport with your
colleague first.
-
Jefferson Knight feels so strongly about proper dining etiquette
that he recently took his two children, ages 8 and 12, to a seminar
on table manners. The 48-year-old Miami attorney, who handles
international law, recently witnessed a man at a business luncheon
sneeze into his napkin -- and continue to use it.
-
Knight has studied etiquette so he can be comfortable dining with
people from all over the world. "If you deal with people from
different cultures, it's something you really have to be conscious
of," he said.
Working the room
-
Anyone running a business today needs to know how to network at
business events or even cocktail parties.
-
Try to pair up someone you meet at a networking event with a
colleague who might use that person's services. Networking is a
two-way street; by doing someone a favor, you earn the right to ask
for a favor in return.
-
To improve networking skills:
-
Don't hide in the corner or at the bar. Seek out another person who
is alone, then introduce yourself.
-
Approach someone with confidence. Look them in the eye, and extend
your hand. Shake firmly.
-
Limit alcohol to one drink -- and only if others are drinking.
-
Don't talk to the same person for more than 10 minutes; remember
that you are there to meet people. If someone is monopolizing your
time, say, "It was nice speaking with you, but I need to circulate."
-
Collect business cards, and follow up with prospects after the
event. The idea is to meet people, not to sell to them there.
Sartorial smarts
-
Casual Fridays have wreaked havoc upon corporate dress. Today,
customs are confusing.
-
"The trends have swung like a pendulum, and there are times when job
search candidates come back and tell me they're overdressed for an
interview," said Michael Kirby, director of career consulting for
Spherion Corp., a staffing and recruiting firm in Fort Lauderdale.
-
For job interviews, Kirby said it's better to overdress than
underdress. "I'm still a candidate for being old-fashioned," he
said.
-
Whitmore said that since the dot-com bust, corporate dress has
become less informal. "People's behavior tends to mirror their
image, so if you're in jeans and a T-shirt, you might have a more
casual attitude," she said.
Experts suggest:
-
If you're in an industry where you are expected to "dress up" every
day, men should wear suits, or a sport coat with tie, and women
should wear dresses or suits.
-
All clothing should be clean -- without stains -- and pressed. This
may sound obvious, but Whitmore says she often sees executives
wearing wrinkled shirts with perspiration stains.
-
Be well groomed. Hair should be brushed and everyone should use
deodorant.
-
Pay attention to your shoes. They should be polished and clean.
Whitmore has a colleague who interviewed a prospect dressed in a
nice dark blue suit. When the man sat down, the interviewer noticed
that he was wearing boat shoes without socks. "He couldn't take his
eyes off those darn boat shoes," Whitmore said.
-
Women should always wear hosiery, and open-toe shoes are improper
for most corporate environments. Makeup should be subdued, and women
should limit jewelry.
-
To make sure your manners are up to snuff, you can either take an
etiquette class, or have a colleague critique your behavior and
performance.
-
"You've got to have a cutting-edge difference to get ahead now, and
that difference can easily be good manners," said Whitmore. "Good
etiquette means good business."
Robyn A. Friedman is a freelance writer. Reach her at
rafriedman@att.net.
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